Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Active Daddying

One of the things I hear rather often hear from friend and colleagues, is that I seem to spend a lot of time with the children. In all honesty, I really feel that what I had been doing, is really quite normal and not out of the ordinary. I have the impression that most dads would have done the same too. However, after hearing from other moms, it seems that some dads are still indeed clueless, or may have a totally different mind-set when it comes to parenting. Anyway, I have to explicitly state that I do not have the authority to say what is “RIGHT”, but am merely writing about my own personal experiences.

I can imagine that as a working dad, one may wish to go home to a good meal after work, and then either rest or just play with the kiddos for a while. But in this modern day and time, the wife often have to work too, and will appreciate any extra help from her partner when it comes to parenting. Whilst the following may seem mundane, troublesome or may even seem more suitable for the wife to do, they are really great bonding time with the kiddos for dads too -

  • Bathing the kiddos – I do bathe the kiddos from babies till now and it just felt like the right thing to do. In fact, I even bathe TOGETHER with the kiddos at times and it is also an opportunity for me to educate the kiddos on our body anatomy. But of course depending on your comfort level, you can just choose to bathe them only and help your wife out a little.

  • Walking them to school – I know some parents who drives, feel that the travelling time in the car is a good time to catch up with the children. For me, because I do not have a car, I walk them to the school and I do feel that it is also a good time to bond with them as well. Again, this allowed the wife to have a little more sleep in the morning.

Sometimes, I would love to just sleep in and do nothing.

  • Rest days – I do not send my kiddos to any enrichment classes, and preferred that my weekends are free time. But my wife and myself do work on weekends at times, and would have to leave the brood home with only one partner. At times like these, it would be tempting for me to just rest in and pass the kiddos their tablets or phones. BUT these weekends are great for a swim at the public pool or even grocery shopping. Dads can also bring the kiddos out for fun or some exercise and create great memories on your own too!

But off days are great to spend with the kiddos too!

There are so much more to being a dad, other than just providing for the family. I may not be as accomplished compared to many my peers in terms of career, but I am proud to say that I am always there for my kiddos and family, as much as possible. And I probably would not have this many kiddos if I had not helped out with their caregiving! Happy wife = Happy Kiddos = Happy Family. Dads do not have to be no-nonsense man of the house and can loosen up by -

  • Playing pretend with them – Be the superhero or even the evil villain, and join them in their imaginary world. Sure they can play with their siblings but it is extra special with the man they look up to playing along

  • Being the clown – I play the fool, dance weird grooves and crack stupid jokes at times. It gets everyone laughing and releases endorphins! And guess what? It even takes all the stress off you too!

We brought the kiddos into this world, it is only right that we do the best we can to equip them with the right tools for their lives, for them to grow into mentally strong and emotionally healthy adults. And the best thing we can do while they are young, is to give them our time. We need active daddying, because fathering is not enough.

Note: This blog post is in collaboration with Friso. Kids learn from experiences whether big or small, good or bad. That’s why Friso provides the right nutrition for your child to be strong inside to take on challenges. For more information on Friso, follow them on their WebsiteFacebook or Instagram.

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