Thursday, April 6, 2017

Sorry May Not Cut It This Time

I came home to Steffi, Leroy and Louie, and they welcomed me home. It was supposed to be a blissful moment but Leroy had to ask me if his teacher called me to complain about him.  That's how I knew he got into a fight in school.

The house was in a mess, and I was hungry. The helper complained that the kiddos snacked and threw the wrappers all over the house. There were food crumbs everywhere and non-stop bickering of the kiddos. The wife had to work late again.

Then Steffi screamed and I realized she had slimed her hair. I lost it, especially only having just asked her to put the slime away. As she desperately tried to remove the slime from her hair without much success, I derided her and calĺed her names. I shouted and I screamed. I threw her tissue paper, demanded not to see a single drop of slime on the floor or anywhere else, threatening to cane her.

She bawled and asked what could be done but  I said I was not going to bother about her anymore. I went to my room to cool down, and googled on how to remove slime from hair. All that was needed, was just shampoo and warm water. But when I got out of the room again, the slime were mostly gone, but so was her hair. She had decided to cut it.

I completely lost it now. How can someone be so stupid? What exactly was wrong with her? I was angry and flew into a rage. Like a beast, I cannot control my anger anymore and I just felt like thrashing anything in sight. It was a terrible feeling, even as I am typing this out. I kept think why why why. Then I felt guilty and I felt sorry. Sorry to be the crazy dad buckling under stress and sorry to have forsaken my daughter at a time she was vulnerable and needed me most. Hair can grow, but I can never take back the words I had spoken. I was never perfect and I will never be, but I am sorry too.

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